Chicken of posting this from my phone

[artsyhonker]

It is Wednesday, and here we are.

A breath for Wednesday. Please forgive any hilarious or unfortunate autocarrot errors.

Ta-Da!

Oof. I finished a good draft of St Lawrence's Tears and sent it off. I had a really good idea about how to execute the St Cecilia commission, which is important because that's needed very soon now. I sang Sacred Harp stuff all day on Saturday and felt better for it. I did some work in a pub and didn't feel better for it. I did some avoidance-reading and gleaned wisdom from it which I was able to apply, though really it's all part of the Big Journey of How To Love, which means ... I get to keep experimenting with wisdom. I did some rehearsal preparation. I did partial rough drafts of a few more pieces.

The Good

Singing singing singing. I have asthma, and I literally breathe more easily when I sing a lot.

Despite Crunchy Deadlines (good with ketchup!) I didn't completely neglect self-care. It's so easy for me to decide that deadlines are more important than giving myself adequate nutrition or time to think or time and space to move. It's so easy for me to hyperfocus on a task and neglect things like dental care or Bed Before Midnight. And this time, I chose differently and I think I was even just as productive, to be honest. A breath for self-care. A breath for not punishing the perishing meatsack more than necessary.

I led sung Compline with Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament in my old parish, and I didn't drop the Sacrament or break the monstrance or anything like that. It was good.

I got my hour of sleep back from the government (DST ended). I always like this, because I harbour much resentment toward DST.

My knee is healing well.

Visit Cat has remembered that I have a lap, and has been very affectionate when visiting. (He doesn't live at our house, he lives a few doors down, but he thinks it's his right to visit us for scritches and cuddles whenever he feels like it, and who are we to argue?)

The Hard

I didn't meet all the deadlines.

There's a sort of grieving process in writing a draft of something and then realising it just isn't going to get done. It's hardest when the competition uses a set text that is not in the public domain; I try to avoid those unless they're either amazing or easy. But the more deadlines I entertain, the more pieces I can't finish, and knowing what the next month is like I expect I won't even finish the public domain ones for awhile, and that is just... hard.

Gleaning wisdom from books is hard, too: reading descriptions of painful things I have experienced and perhaps not yet healed from triggers sadness, anxiety, grief. I'm glad I did it, but it was hard.

My lower back has been giving me grief. Not sure why, suspect not enough stretching.

Quests

St Cecilia commission, lots of Cecilia's List stuff, St Luke's Chelsea and Stephen Paulus competitions, schedule dental and optometry appointments (keep the meatsack ticking over), LGQ prep stuff, Whittington responses, type up book outline.

PLN

I'm arranging for some in-person support with admin tasks.

Today is All Saints' Day, and tomorrow is All Souls'; I will be remembering my dead, and trying to be as gentle with myself as some of them might be if they were here.

I feel very tired, so I think an early-ish night tonight and a very early one tomorrow night will be helpful.

How are you?

How was your week? What are your Quests? What was good? Hard? Do you have a PLN? Do you have a pet?

Comments

[angelofthenorth]

We went to the allotment together this afternoon. And we have a plan for it and how to help Huw with maximising his use of it

[artsyhonker]

A plan sounds good. The best ones, of course, are flexible.

[angelofthenorth]

It mostly involves me doing more so that he's able to do more.

[nou]

Oh I am so so so missing singing (singing on my own, and PDtP). I get what you're saying about it helping the asthma, and I suspect this might work for me too, but I just have too much mucus and not enough breath at the moment.

I do however have a new type of inhaler (as well as my two existing types of inhaler) and some tablets from yesterday's chest specialist appointment, so am hopeful that one or both of them will work. I feel more hopeful and less despairing than I have for ages.

(A small unexpected bonus from all this has been that the other day I learned to use the statistical programming language R in order to print a nice time series of all my peak flow readings since July. I've wanted an easy way to make graphs for ages, but never really had a strong enough motivation to figure it out before.)

I'm excited about Cecilia’s List! I can promote it around Croydon churches if you like, once you’re ready for that.

[artsyhonker]

Yeah, singing is one of those things that helps when my asthma isn't bad enough to make it impossible, but after a certain point it doesn't do anything except annoy me. I hope that the new medical interventions are starting to help now.

Re: Cecilia's List -- what sort of promotion do you have in mind? What would make it easier? It would certainly be helpful, not least because I certainly don't have time to promote it everywhere.

[nou]

The new meds definitely seem to be making a difference. I'm not going to celebrate just yet, since I thought the previous lot were also making a difference and then they stopped working, but I am cautiously hopeful.

I was thinking I could get in touch with Croydon Minster and other local churches to tell them about the project. (Some of them are already aware of my existence through my local history work and so on.)

[kellan_the_tabby]

Oohh, I wonder if singing more would help my asthma too? I mean also, I'd be singing more, never a bad thing.

(Also what is PLN, as opposed to plan? I am guessing that it is a Thing but I haven't been able to figure out what.)

[nou]

There’s an explanation of PLN in a comment on a previous checkin post.

[kellan_the_tabby]

Ahh, excellent! Thank you!

[artsyhonker]

It's worth a try...

(Thank you to nou for explaining PLN)

[kellan_the_tabby]

I shall report back! I mean I probably won't because I'll likely forget, but I'll mean to. >.>

[shewhostaples]

My week has been mixed. I am very glad to have the extra hour back and to be getting up into the light. But I have still been finding it difficult to keep going with things, and have not always been keeping things in proportion.

I am drinking a small glass of pepper vodka for All Saints and the beginning of winter. countertony wished me a Happy Winterval, which felt unexpectedly apt. I am experimenting with a different way of getting through the winter this year, which is by giving myself at least one nice thing every day to look forward to. I'm still not entirely clear on how that's going to work.

I do not have a pet, though one day I would like to have a cat.

[artsyhonker]

I am also liking the lighter mornings, but mysteriously still feel as if Winter Is Setting In Now.

I am experimenting with a different way of getting through the winter this year, which is by giving myself at least one nice thing every day to look forward to. I'm still not entirely clear on how that's going to work.

This seems like a very worthwhile experiment. I think I would like to participate also. For Science, of course.

The cat that we do not have lives a few doors down from us, and comes to visit a few times a week. It's quite a lovely way to not have a cat, as these things go, as we omit many of the disadvantages of not having a cat (such as lack of contact from cats and generally not having a cat about the place), and yet stll have no obligation as regards flea treatments, litter trays, holiday cover, or trips to the Vee Eee Tee.