Humpday Chicken (check-in)

[artsyhonker]

It is Wednesday, and here we are.

A breath for Wednesday. A breath for pausing mid-week to listen to myself. A breath for making space.

Ta-Da!

I finished my Musical Hat Draw pieces and put them up for sale on Monday. (A breath for stepping into the unknown. A breath for trusting that the experiment will be useful.)

I resurrected my newsletter, Passing Notes, which I had not updated since 2016. (A breath for all timing is right timing. A breath for buildng connection and community.)

Quests:

Write Composers' Forum talk. Write rough draft of MPhil upgrade paper. Choose text for St Cecilia commission. Finish carol for Willcocks. Re-write St Lawrence's Tears. Draft Snow Queens submission. Make progress in a number of other projects. A thousand squillion admin tasks.

The Hard

Overwhelm! I am feeling that I have too many Big Things to do this week, and not enough time to do them. I'm struggling to give myself enough downtime, and when I don't give myself the downtime in a planned and sustainable way, I tend to end up taking it in an unplanned and maybe less sustainable way, and then yelling at myself for it -- as if hating on myself will make me happy and/or productive.

Beloved spouse is changing jobs, and I have The Fear about money, even though having run the numbers several times we ought to be okay. I don't entirely trust us to get this right; I don't trust myself to not be too expensive. Oof. (A breath for oof.)

I launched the Musical Hat Draw sale on a Monday night, which is not the best time for such things, and the response has been slow so far, and I'm feeling as though my work doesn't matter. (A breath for waiting to see what happens at the weekend.)

The Good

I'm getting better at recognising the hard things as genuinely hard, and even at asking for help sometimes. (A breath for accepting myself as I am, not as who I wish I were.)

I am playing a "long game" in lots of areas at the moment and that means that Future Me will have options.

The money fear is not as bad as it was a month ago. Past Me has arranged it so my trips to Aberdeen for my studies are all paid for and I have a bit of cash there, too; so if everything goes sideways, one of the important things is still covered.

The PLN

Rehearsal tonight, then I basically have two clear days.

Most of my tasks are bigger than one work session, though. So: divide and conquer!

The rough draft of the MPhil upgrade can be as simple as putting some headings on a piece of paper in the first iteration. The Composers' Forum talk is about four or five pieces of music of mine, I can write about them separately. The St Cecilia commission text selection is a pain in the arse, but if I'm stuck I can go wth one of the "hey make lots of music" psalms. If the Willcocks carol or the Snow Queens thing don't get done in time, I'll be annoyed, but the penalties are really low.

And each subtask, each minor achievement, can be followed by a rest, a break, a treat. Go for a walk. Have nice tea. Work on the scrumblecoat, for it is a Thing of Joy.

(A breath for it's actually still a lot of work, but I got this.)

How are you?

What have you done? What are your quests? What is hard in your life? What is good? What is your PLN (or plan)?

Comments

[angelofthenorth]

My quest is to have cleared all the hurdles to be gainfully employed soon

[artsyhonker]

That is an important quest! I wish you a quest of simplicity and ease.

[kellan_the_tabby]

ZOMG i LOVE the idea of QUESTS as an entry that is AWESOME

[artsyhonker]

Thank you! I only really thought of it on the fly, but I am pleased with it. It recognises both that many of these "to-do list" items have multiple steps (without making them into "projects"), and also that they are adventures where I may not be certain at the outset what I will encounter.

Also, heading out on a quest requires preparation and provisioning and planning, and that is okay. The work I do to prepare myself for my work is still work; on a basic level, it still counts. It's important for me to recognise this, because I was taught that the ideal is to "just do it" when in fact that was not really appropriate most of the time.

(Maybe I would enjoy reading more fantasy; or doing more pilgrimages. Hmm.)

[kellan_the_tabby]

YES the idea of 'just do it' is FAR too likely to result in stuff like me out in the woods, entirely lost, with someone else's dog, half a bologna sandwich, & not NEARLY enough water to drink.

[artsyhonker]

And then you find poison ivy and the dog rolls in something that's rotting...

(or maybe that's just me)

[kellan_the_tabby]

I was lucky! You don't get much poison ivy in Colorado & Sarah was too vain about her beautiful coat to roll in smelly things. We even got back to the car before the storm hit.

[nou]

I like this.

The hard thing in my life at the moment is under-medicated asthma, for which I will not be able to get improved medication until the 31st. I've been struggling for weeks but have finally given in and cancelled various commitments until November. This was the right decision but I hated doing it.

[artsyhonker]

That is a hard thing. I hope that improved medication helps and that the cancellation of various commitments leads to less struggling in the meantime.